my day in pictures

sometimes, a picture is worth thousands of words. my life today was not as interesting as other people here in ubc, but yeah, its not wrong to tell people right? =)

12.00pm
selamat pagi malaysia....eh its 12 noon already laaa

12.01pm
contemplating on wat to do today..approximate time to decide wat to do...30 mins

12.31pm
bangun pagi, hey gosok gigi...
cuci muka, pergi mandi...

12.50pm
studying for apsc 150 quiz next tuesday...rajin x sy? :D

12.55pm
owh before that, remember to turn on the laptop first...

1.15pm
lunch at totem...sud came to visit us today...haha

2.10pm
melipat baju yg x sudah...

5.30pm
band practice. maen kompang until my hand felt tired...huhu

7.15pm
went to fairview to meet the seniors...so how uve been doin? pd hal dh jmp ari2 lol

9.00pm
went home to stdy but had to make a conference call with org2 yg jauh...
its not an ordinary video call tau. its conference call!!!

9.45pm
im hungry...maggi je jwpnnye...jgn jelez my friends!! =p

2.00am
finally terbongkang trtido after a long day(actually i spent like less than half a day awake)

begitulah hari ku, tiada bezanya hari minggu
begitulah nasibku ditinggalkan jauh ayah ibu..

haha thats all folks! i shud hav taken a lot of pictures but due to limited chances, had to be satisfied with what i had taken(actually avoiding people from calling me retarded, bringing a gundam around whereever i went lol)

p/s:lyrics taken from bangum pagi. credits to the creator for this wonderful song! hehe

doubtsdoubtsdoubts

heh
how ironic
i could be the ear
but i couldnt be the mouth
the mouth to give out anything
to someone

i just realize
boys and girls are not the same
talking to girls
is not the same
as talking to boys
whenever i have doubts

sometimes
i yearn for those harsh words
really really harsh words
but not those calming words
uttered to make me feel easy
i remember the days
when i got scolded
called stupid
branded coward
those had made me to look up
i could improve my life after that
seriously i didnt care
i took their opinions highly
although its in a harsh way
but
i couldnt have it here...

well
once i said
theres a time when a guy has reached his own limit
when he couldnt say 'its alright' anymore
but how could we help him to release whats inside him?
knock his head with something!!!
lol

life...

laptop ak dh balikkkkkkkkkkkkk

for this whole week
me without a laptop
i thought that i could look at myself
without any surfing and facebookings
to find what i had been missing
in my life

but what i realized was
im weak
very weak

i have a fear
a fear to be sincere
i always hide it
with this childish face of mine
but i know i have to grow up someday
to make the right decisions
and face the consequences
those are what i truly lack right now
i know this childish face wouldn't last that long
and im thinking of learning about life again
maybe i'll be getting into subject Self 101

if only it is offered in ubc...

but now?
i dont know...
only time will tell

wind of change

hmmm
i guess i should stop it.
stop ranting
return back to ur own self.
and let it go
enough with the hurtings
anger makes people sad u know?

....

at the other side of the world
happy birthday to mak!!!!!
u r 49 now!!!
hehe
i really wanted to call u today
but u were not there with ur phone
and i couldn't reach ur office number too
huhu
but i wanna be there
to hug you
saying lovely words to you
telling you about my difficulties here
hearing your opinions
your advice
your words of encouragement

....

but i know i couldn't have those
no manje2 with mak
no berlagak cool dgn mak
no dishes made by mak
tapi takpe
i know that i have to live without those
after all
im ur son rite mak?

huh

marah
i don't know what happened with me today
asek nk marah je
its not often to see me like this
penat.penat.penat
marah.marah.marah
sume x kena
ni x kena
it started with math quiz
n physics tutorial yg mcm cipan
ended with the so disorganized me

i did say that i wanted to be strong right?
i know that
still working on it
i still need time to change for the good
just dont remind me again
about the things that im trying to heal
rindu mmg ade
but as a person
time will degrade it
im not in love with anyone
its just that
losing someone who you can talk to
mostly on things that are around you
its hard
there are still people who want to hear me
and i appreciate for the company
but give me time
im trying to recover from this sickness

however
these are just my rantings
fueled by anger n disappointment
not something to be taken seriously
hopefully i'll get this over with
when i close my eyes
tonight

imnotme

how big is 21? (cont)

this morning i got a message from ayah
Happy 21st birthday! May it come with maturity, wisdom n sense of utmost responsibility towards yourself, Allah, parents, siblings, family, friends, nation n religion alike. May it be associated with the blessings of Allah throughout. Amin.

the most surprising thing is
this is the first time that ayah had ever wished me on my birthday
so i decided to skip my morning class that day
lol

and this is a thank for the presents...



scarf

portable speaker

t-shirt

sweater/training kit?

sweater

really had a great time!!!
=p

how big is 21?

so its the time again every year
i enjoyed the days
prior to
during
and after
received a lot of presents
most of them were clothes
and i got to be pemborong merchandise MU
lol

personally
i always wanted to get the MU scarf
because i dreamed of putting it up high in the air
saying
im a proud fan of Manchester United!!!!
sayo r koooooo!!!!
lol

okay
so this is where i write my thank yous
i really had a great time last night
delicious cakes
dinner at green lettuce
endless jokes by russell peters
many wishes in many different ways
and being there for me

tonight
im gonna tell you my wish
its not to buy an xbox 360
like what i was ALWAYS telling you lol
i found myself vulnerable when i was 20
so this time
i want to change that
my wish is
i want to be strong to everybody
just like a superman maybe
refuse to be weakened by any difficulties
and strong to face challenges as they come
i know its hard
but thats life
and life has never been fair to us ;)

and to my family
ur always there for me
like akmal said:
abg, esok birthday abg kn?
selamat ari jadi!!
like mak said:
belaja elok2 jgn main2 je tauu...
like nyah said:
balik nt ko bwk blk mnde2 best tau
(ape mnde best yg ad kt sni? salji?)
like ain said:
abg bile nk blk???
(ak balik la nt....)
like ayah said:
okay la ade pape lagi nk ckp ke?
(ayah ni shy2 sket rupenye...haha)
thanks for always remembering me

its 12.00am in canada now
happy 21st birthday to me...
:)

a little thought to myself

just met muhsin during my way back to totem. he invited me to his house in marine drive. its the first time his house was being visited by any ubc malaysian students here(lol). but i'm not goin to talk about his house today. just things that i learned and heard from someone who has tasted life in ubc before me.

i realize that its not the time to play anymore. i also realize that no matter what happens, studies come first. i wish that i could be ignorant that i only have to focus on my studies. but i know that i cannot be selfish. its like i have to share the burden of other people when they need us. funny. i never looked sad when i am actually sad, but i can be sad when others are sad. maybe its because of my nature. never stop caring about other people. and never leave them when there are in need. dont make others worry about you.

but tonight muhsin taught me a lot about time management and focus. hopefully i can be strong and face these challenges to survive this term. emmm got to start reading english grammar workbook for dummies now. haih. lolz~~

not so new year's post

today's the day i finally have to leave fairview. i said goodbye to tatsuya while sud n shahrir were still sleeping. ariff n zul left the house to some place where i dunno where it was. cant wait to go back to my old room and i miss my comforter sooooo much! no more sleeping in a sleeping bag! haha

got a biiig parcel from mak today. it came all the way via the sea! took it about close to TWO months just to arrive here!! wats inside it? hmm lets see...some gloves, stationaries, biscuits, biscuits and biscuits( haih mak ni igt ak x ckup mkn ke kt sni??), tuna, books, my lab coat and the thing that surprised me the most is...maggi!!!! yay after so many weeks without eating malaysian maggi made me felt so terharu!! mybe more terharu than sending kak fara at the airport yesterday lol.

ahh x kesah i still want to upload it here!!! di saat kelaparan ak mmerlukanmu....lol

okay2 now its the beginning of the new term. hopefully i can survive this term without any complications although i know i'll be damn tired, have lots of work to do, msn 2009, and more drama ubc in the next 4 months or so!!! i have to prepare early now and start planning! patutnye ak curik planner asma mase secret santa aritu...kan dh ssh2 nk cari planner skg...haha

owh2 and one more thing. selamat berangkat kpd kak fara yg baru dihantar pulang smlm ke malaysia!! its nice knowing you and sori klu ad terbuat salah ke pape ke, n sori to my frenz sbb trslh bg mklumat psl bile nk tgu kt airport... anyway i know that i can be a jerk sumtymes..huhu

sometimes i don't understand...

sometimes, you cannot expect that you know everything in this life. as a human, there are some things that prevent you from knowing everything. and sometimes, it is best for you to not to know anything...but some of the things that happened during these last few days made me puzzled...

1. have you ever wondered why of all the sudden somebody said sorry to you repeatedly although he/she had never done anything wrong to you?
2. you thought that everything's okay but actually it is not okay...and you could do nothing about it.
3. somebody said to you that he/she wanted to clear things out during the holidays although you there's nothing to worry about.
4. when something unwanted happened, you decided to run away as far as you could...but eventually you still have to face it...

drama ubc...there's more to it...season 1 is on tv right now. want to get involved in this drama? take 29 credits minimum to be eligible for a role...lol